


Release

by Southern_Breeze



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Academy days, Anger, Angry Grell, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-18
Updated: 2015-06-08
Packaged: 2018-03-23 14:41:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3772069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Southern_Breeze/pseuds/Southern_Breeze
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even if Eric Slingby had anger problems, he should have been given a chance to be a field agent. Unfortunately, upper management had decided that first he needs to act as a mentor to an academy student, also known for having a quick temper, in hopes they both can learn something. Eric didn't expect to actually enjoy the experience, nor did he expect to develop any feelings for the wild, temperamental redhead known as Grell Sutcliff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Release**

**Standard Disclaimer: All recognizable characters are property of Yana Toboso and Square Enix Co., Ltd. Used without permission but with a lot of respect.**

Cover art created by the talented CatAstrophy. 

**Chapter 1**

Eric sat uncomfortably in the small room as he waited rather impatiently. His long legs were cramped beneath a desk that was too short, and the back of his chair pressed tightly against the wall, but he still did his best to at least look professional. After all, that was the image he had been told that he needed to portray.

Moving his blue tinted glasses down slightly, he rubbed the bridge of his nose. He had already graduated the academy, but upper management still expressed concern about him being a field agent. He had all the scores, but the concern was his temper. Eric honestly didn't understood their hesitation because, if everyone stayed out of his way, there wouldn't be any issues. Unfortunately, the decision was not his to make, and the higher-ups had decided to force him to play counselor to a current student who was also noted as having anger issues. Their idea was that the two might learn something from each other, but Eric thought that putting two hotheads in the same room was just a recipe for trouble, and he dreaded meeting this student known as Grell Sutcliff.

There was a loud rap on the door. It wasn't precisely a knock because it sounded more like someone slamming his fist into the door much harder than necessary, and Eric assumed this would be his anger management problem arriving for his appointment. "Come in," he said as the dread rose up in his throat.

The door was flung open, and Eric could his first look at Grell as he stomped inside, slammed the door, and threw himself into the small seat. For the first few moments, Eric had trouble finding his voice as he simply stared at the newcomer slumped in the chair.

Reapers came in all sizes, shapes, and colors, but it was no exaggeration to say that this academy student was unlike anyone that Eric had ever seen before. It was his hair that really caught your attention first – red as fresh blood and sticking about wildly like a crimson halo. His two-toned eyes were the same color as everyone else's, but his seemed more intense somehow, and the teeth revealed by the slight parting of his lips looked more fitting for a predatory animal. Eric had heard that their appearances upon being reborn as reapers were affected slightly by their personalities, and Grell looked like a chaos defined – a walking contradiction. His fiery, untamed hair, the oddly delicate features around a mouth full of shark-like teeth, and the small, lithe frame that he carried as if he had great statue were all indicators that he was a dangerous as he was beautiful.

"Welcome," he greeted, finally finding his voice, "I'm Mr. Slingby." It felt so odd not to introduce himself as Eric, but he had to act like he was the authority figure in this situation. "I understand you have an anger problem, Mr. Sutcliff."

"Grell," came the growled reply, "If you're going to try and poke around in my head, you might as well use my first name. Of course, you're wasting your time. There's nothing wrong with me. The problem is all these stupid rules and the fact I'm stuck working with these inferior classmates." He smiled dangerously as he tilted his head back. Again, Eric was struck with the contradiction of those jagged teeth and porcelain, slender neck that was revealed when he had moved his head. "I have no problem demonstrating my abilities if you have any doubt," added the volatile redhead as his sharp eyes seemed to drill into Eric.

"I have no doubts," Eric quickly replied. He had seen his grades, and saw that Grell was the only student in history to get triple A's in practical. It had been Eric's best class, and he had to work diligently just to get an A. He was in no hurry to cross scythes with anyone who could get such grades.

Grell frowned slightly and he leaned back and put his arms behind his head. "If you have no doubt, then why am I here?"

"Because management thinks that anger is a problem," Eric answered honestly, "It's why I'm here too."

"Oh?" For the first time since he had walked into the room, Grell actually seemed interested as he leaned forward, "What do you mean?"

"I graduated last semester," Eric explained, "I've already gotten my glasses, but I haven't been sent on my first retrieval assignment yet. Management thinks I have anger issues."

"So, what's this supposed to do for you then?" Grell asked, "Won't talking to me just make you more angry?"

"I think that we're both supposed to learn something," returned Eric.

"Perhaps we can. We might just be a little bit alike." Grell smiled brightly. "After all, a single A is nothing like triple A's, but it's nothing to sneeze at. Right, Eric?"

Apparently Grell had taken the time to learn a little something about him, but Eric didn't really take to focus on that. When Grell had smiled, Eric had noticed another contradiction. The expression on the bottom half of his face appeared content, but his eyebrows were turned up slightly in the center giving him an almost mournful expression. He couldn't help but wonder why even the redhead's face didn't seem to be in agreement with itself, but he thought that might be a matter for another time.

"We could just say we talked even if we don't," offered Eric, "I honestly don't think there's anything wrong with anger as long as you keep it under control."

Grell shook his head. "Let upper management think we agreed like good little puppets," he said, "Besides, I don't really mind talking to you all that much."

Eric was relieved because he actually had wanted to talk more but had felt it was important to make the offer. "Okay then," he said, "but let's get out of this room. It's too cramped in here, and we can always talk outside."

"Cramped spaces don't really bother me," Grell said mysteriously, but he stood up and opened the door without complaint.

As they exited the room, Eric couldn't help but wonder just what he had gotten himself into.

((X))

They walked across the grounds of the academy together, and a part of Eric couldn't help but admire what looked like a lovely day. The sky that stretched above was a soft, faultless blue, and the sun seemed to practically smiling down from its appointed place. The grass under their feet were soft, and the emerald green expanse was dotted generously with wildflowers. It was the only place in the reaper realm that looked so natural and touched for most of their world were buildings and streets.

And it was all a lie.

This realm was caught between Heaven and Earth so that it was part of both but didn't completely belong to either. Most of them had been human in the past, so this part of the realm was designed specifically to look like Earth to ease the transition into existence as a reaper, but it was nothing more than an illusion created by holy magic. There was no grass, flowers, or beautiful sky. Without these false images, it would only look misty and vague – like a world suspended in a cloud. Eric had been given permission to see the truth once, but he wished he had declined. Knowing the truth made it so much harder to accept the lie.

As they walked, Eric immediately saw how everyone stopped and stepped out of Grell's way. Some of them looked mildly frightened as he passed by, but most looked at him with cold, mistrusting eyes as they stood back to watch his progress. Grell barely seemed to notice as he walked on, but Eric saw that his posture had stiffened slightly. One younger student actually gave a quick yelp in surprise as he stumbled out of the way.

"You seem to have a reputation," Eric commented.

Grell shrugged as he stretched and put his hands behind his head as he done in the tiny office with Eric. "That happens when you nearly kill a classmate during scythe practice," he answered back almost calmly.

"But I didn't see that in any of your records," countered Eric.

"That's because it didn't happen." Grell looked in Eric's direction and smiled, but still the expression didn't seem to make it all the way up his face. "There was a student who was determined to do better than me in practical. Said a freak like me didn't deserve top spot. Just before we were to start the last sparring session, he cut my right arm and made a deep gash. Claimed it was accident, but I knew that it wasn't. But he made two mistakes. One was making me mad." He paused briefly as he wiggled the fingers on his left hand in Eric's direction in a mock wave. "The other was that I'm actually left-handed." He chuckled at the situation.

"What happened after that?" Eric asked.

"I _accidentally_ cut his arm," replied Grell, the cold smile never leaving his mouth, "Of course, I waited until we were actually sparring, and my cut was far deeper than what he had managed. He was rushed to the infirmary, and I received a verbal reprimand. For two weeks, I was confined to my room except for classes. When I was finally able to go out again, I found out that I had supposedly tried to cut his arm off and attempted to kill him." Grell laughed again, but time Eric noticed just a touch of bitterness intertwined with the laughter. "Trust me, if I had been trying to kill him, he'd be dead."

"But others saw what really happened if it was during practice. Why didn't anyone say anything?"

Grell shrugged again as he leaned his back against a nearby tree and looked up towards the image of the sky. The faux sunlight filtered past the leaves creating a lace-like pattern on his fair face so that he appeared to be wearing a mask, and for the first time Eric saw a new expression flicker briefly in his eyes. Behind the anger and air of overconfidence, there was a certain uncertain and insecurity that dared to peek out briefly. "Everyone believes what they want to believe," he answered, his voice slightly lower than it had been before. Suddenly, he smiled again and ever hint of insecurity had vanished as quickly as if it had only been imagined.

Except for those eyebrows.

"So I have the reputation for being a dangerous bully," he stated, "which suits me fine. Everyone avoids me and leaves me alone. If they get too close, I only have to whisper a threat, and they're gone."

"It sounds more like you have a people problem than an anger problem," Eric said.

"Oh, I am angry," Grell admitted, "There's just so many things that aren't fair. Like all of these stupid classes and rules. I'm not going to fail ethics, but I'm not doing great in it either. Our job is just to collect the souls, so why should we worry about the ethics of the job. Seems like you're just asking for trouble by getting too sentimental about the whole thing. Then there are the other students. They want to run their mouths but, if you stand up for yourself, you're the bully. Plus…" His voice trailed off as he closed his mouth suddenly as if he was about to reveal too much. His sharp teeth chewed on his bottom lip until a tiny spot of blood came to the surface, but then the emotion was swept aside. "You say you have anger problems too. What makes you so angry?"

Eric considered the matter for a few minutes. "I don't know," he finally admitted, "I just angry…restless on the inside. I get so tired of all the drama, and I just want everyone to leave me alone. Sometimes I almost wish I was invisible. Do you feel that way?"

"No," Grell said. He opened his mouth to say more, but suddenly a loud clanging sound echoed through the grounds. It was the signal that evening classes were beginning, and Grell immediately pushed away from the tree. "I supposed to talk to you twice a week," he announced.

Eric nodded. "But you don't have to," he said, but he hated the moment the words had popped out of his mouth. Truthfully, he wanted to continue this conversation Grell because he actually found him interesting and different.

Grell gave the same smile that only affected the bottom half of his face. "It's okay," he replied, "I prefer talking to you than one of those stiff-necked weasels they have in the counseling department. Besides, we'll both play nice and upper management will both let us out into the field eventually." He started to walk away. "How about Friday at the same time?"

"Sounds good," Eric agreed as he felt a smile curve his own lips. As he watched the redhead crossing the grounds, other students stepping out the way to give him a wide berth, he realized that this was the first time he had actually smiled in a long time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

 

Eric walked quickly down the hall towards his appointed office, and he had to fight to keep a smile from dominating his face. He had been looking forward to talking to Grell again since their first meeting, but these past few days had seemed to crawl along on tired, lethargic feet. Finally, it was almost time to meet up once again, and he resisted the urge to whistle a happy tune as he walked along with a bag swinging to the rhythm of his steps.

As he rounded the last corner, he was more than a little surprised to see Grell leaning against the wall next to his door. “You’re early,” he greeted the redhead, as he reached into his pocket to retrieve the keys.

Grell shrugged, “Don’t have anywhere else to be,” he said in a level tone, “and I mean that literally.”

Eric frowned slightly as he studied his appearance. Grell’s face was tense, his eyes as cold as two-toned emeralds, and, despite the appearance of a relaxed stance, his muscles were as taunt as strings on an overly tuned violin. You could practically feel the anger rolling off of him in waves, and Eric instinctively took a step back. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?” he asked as he finding his keys became a distant thought.

Grell made an angry noise that sounded almost like a growl. “I called the Ethics professor a windbag,” he answered, “and told him someone should put him in his place. He reported that I had threatened him, so I’m on suspension again. I’m not allowed to leave my room without an escort, and even then I can only go to class. I didn’t think they’d even let me come here, but I guess they feel talking about my anger might be a good thing. Of course, you have to agree to escort to my room later.” He took a step from the wall suddenly and kicked backwards with enough force to leave a hole. “Why do they keep treating me like this?” he demanded. “That professor knew I hadn’t threatened him. Besides, I don’t bother with threats.”

“That wasn’t right,” Eric agreed, “but it’s hard once you get a reputation. Trust me, I know.” He gave the still stewing academy student what he hoped looked like a wise smile. “I packed us a little bite to eat.” He lifted the bag so Grell would notice before continuing. “Let’s get out of here and relax.”

“But I’m not supposed to go anywhere,” countered Grell, “If they see me out on the grounds, even with you, I’m sure I’ll get written up again. The Academy Headmaster told me that if I get into trouble one more time, I’ll have to start all over again, and I’ll never be allowed to be in retrieval no matter what kind of grades I get.”

“We won’t go onto the grounds,” offered Eric, “but we could go up to the roof. No one will see you up there, and, if anyone does say anything, I’ll say it’s all part of the therapy. Okay?”

Grell seemed to consider the matter for a few minutes. “Alright,” he replied, “That should be okay, and I’m about to go crazy being stuck in a room all of the time.” Pausing momentarily, he managed a small, strained smile. “Or maybe crazier, depending on who you ask.”

Eric laughed softly as he laid his hand on one of Grell’s shoulders. “At least you still have your sense of humor.”

“And my stunning, good looks,” Grell added with a chuckle of his own.

As they were preparing to leave, one of the custodial workers suddenly appeared and started down the hall, but then he noticed the hole in the wall where Grell had kicked in anger earlier. “What happened here?” he demanded gruffly.

Before Grell could say anything, Eric spoke up. “I slipped on a wet spot on the floor and my foot when through the wall,” he answered, “Terribly sorry about that, but it’s so easy to fall when these floors aren’t cleaned properly.”

Without another word, Eric led Grell down the hall and towards the stairs leading to the roof while the man from custodial desperately searched for a wet spot that didn’t exist.

((X))

As it was every day in their false paradise, it looked beautiful outside and the view from the roof was impressive to the eye even knowing it was just an illusion. Eric wasn’t admiring the scenery, however, as he kept his focus on the redhead sitting nearby; eating his sandwich with an angry gusto. “Slow down,” Eric finally instructed, “I know I said it was tuna, but you don’t have to attack it. It’s already dead.”

Grell turned towards him, his eyes flashing momentarily, and Eric briefly thought he had finally angered him, but then Grell smiled. Using his hand to cover his mouth, he laughed and nearly got choked on his sandwich. “Sorry, Eric,” he apologized after swallowing the food in his mouth, “It’s a good sandwich, and it was really nice for you to fix it. I’m just so mad right now.” He paused for a moment as he looked down at all the students walking freely below. “If they ever ask you what makes me so angry, could you tell them I’m just sick of being treated so unfairly? So…differently?”

“I will,” Eric agreed. He finished off the remaining bites of his sandwich before walking over to take a seat beside of Grell, who was positioned on the small wall that ran the perimeter of the roof. “It really isn’t fair the way you’re being treated. It would make anyone angry.”

“Did they treat you like this too?” asked Grell, raising his eyes to look towards him and finishing his sandwich.

“In a way,” answered the tall reaper, “but not quite as bad. I really did threaten a professor once.”

“Really?” Grell’s face lit up, and in that moment it was shining with a brilliance that could have rivaled their fake sun. “What happened?”

“I was taking the final batch of written exams,” Eric explained, “and about halfway through, I had gotten tired so I stretched in my seat. Now, I’m a tall guy, so I stretch a long way. Suddenly, the professor starting yelling out, ‘Slingby! You’re trying to cheat. I saw you trying to look at the test behind you!’ How he thought I was going to cheat by barely glancing at a paper that was upside down to me, I don’t know. Maybe I should have taken it as a compliment, but I just so furious that I jumped up and told him that I wasn’t cheating. When he tried to insist that I was, I told him I was going to shove my test down his throat.”

“Were you suspended?”

“I was confined to my room, just like you are,” answered Eric, “And I actually had to apologize to the professor. In the end, they let me retake the test, but I don’t think I did as well as I would have had that not happened. I got a C, and it was enough to pass. Did they ever accuse you of cheating?”

“Only once,” Grell replied, “Another student and I got the same grade on a test, and everyone acted like I had cheated. They kept trying to get me to confess, but I wasn’t going to agree to a lie. Finally, the other student admitted that he had copied off of me.” He snorted slightly. “If I was going to cheat, I would at least had chosen a student who had an A in written and not a B.”

“But you have a high B.”

“Yeah, and I could probably get an A if I studied, but that’s too boring,” Grell said, his tone making it evident that was simple fact and not bragging.

As Eric struggled to figure out what to say next, Grell turned and began staring at the others below, and he seemed particularly captivated by something. Following his gaze, Eric saw that his companion was staring down at a happy couple walking along together. The boy had his arm casually around a slender girl’s waist, and it was clear that they were laughing and talking, which brought a new thought into Eric’s mind. “I guess they’re what you call a happy couple,” he offered.

“I suppose,” Grell begrudgingly agreed, his eyes never wavering from the pair.

“Are you dating anyone?” Eric asked, “Is there anyone special?”

A mischievous light sparkled in Grell’s eyes as he glanced towards Eric. “Why, Mr. Slingby,” he began, “Are you trying to see if I’m available?”

“No!” Eric cried a shade too quickly, “I was just, uh, wondering if you were lonely.”

Grell’s face fell slightly, and those slightly upturned eyebrows didn’t seem so out of place. “Trying to figure me out, huh?” It seemed to almost be a challenge, “Well, it’s not going to be quite that easy.” He stood up suddenly as he stared down at the still seated Eric. “I guess it’s time for me to be going back to my room.”

Eric didn’t want to leave, but it appeared that he might have offended Grell. “Okay,” he said, also standing, “I guess you need me to be your escort to your room.”

“Yeah,” Grell agreed, “That’s the rules.”

Without another word being spoken, they walked down from the roof and made their way to the student housing. Grell lived in the first building, but his room was on the top floor and was the last door at the end of the corridor. Eric noted that while it was a two person room, only Grell’s name was listed as being assigned residing here. He didn’t even have a close neighbor as the room next to Grell’s was a supply closet. “You have this room all to yourself?” Eric asked.

Grell nodded. “No one wants to share a room with me,” he answered, “and I’m okay with that. It means I get the whole room to myself.” Despite his words, his face told a different story. If Eric didn’t know better, he could have sworn that Grell felt very much alone.

And very much like he did.

“Since you’re not supposed to leave your room, do you want me to come here next time to talk?” questioned Eric.

“I guess,” answered the redhead, “If you want to come back that is.”

“I do,” Eric quickly replied, “Would Monday be okay? About this time?”

“Better make it after five. I have late classes on Monday.”

“Okay,” Eric agreed and watched as Grell closed the door quietly. He only hoped that he hadn’t hurt Grell’s feelings too badly. With a certain reluctance, he turned and started walking away.

“Eric?” Grell suddenly asked.

Turning around, he saw Grell had reopened his door and was leaning out of it slightly. “Yes?”

“Just so you know, I was looking at that couple earlier, but I wasn’t jealous. You see, that man just wasn’t my type. I’ve always been more attracted to taller guys.”

With a laugh, Grell shut the door and left Eric standing alone in the hallway to ponder the meaning of what he had just said.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

The office was large and well-decorated, but there was something cold and unwelcoming about the space. Eric glanced around at the cherry bookshelf, filled to capacity with various titles which seemed to indicate this was a serious and somber collection, to the matching desk that was pristine and precise. Eric supposed that what made the environment so cold was that there were no personal decoration and not a single item that told him anything about the man sitting behind the desk. It looked more like the setting for a stage play rather than an actual office, but perhaps that was the intention. Everything here spoke of authority without any room for foolish decoration or flexibility, much like the man himself.

The head of student relations sat silently at his desk looking directly at Eric, or at least Eric assumed he was looking at him. There was little light in the room, but all of it seemed to focus on the lenses of his glasses so that his eyes were hidden by the reflected light. The rest of his face was as unreadable as his eyes, and Eric couldn’t help but squirm slightly as he waited for him to speak.

“I’m questioning the value of your talks with Sutcliff,” the man finally announced, “He still seems to have quite the anger problem. In fact, he threatened his ethics professor just the other day, and no one has seen any sign of improvement in his demeanor.”

Eric took in a deep breath and released it slowly. “I wanted to talk to you about the incident in ethics, sir,” Eric began. “I talked with Gr…with Mr. Sutcliff about the incident. He said that he did speak disrespectfully to his professor, he didn’t actually threaten him nor did he intend to do so. His comment about someone should put the professor in his place wasn’t meant as a threat.”

The man on the other side of the desk laced his fingers together and leaned forward slightly. “What was said by Sutcliff was out of line, but it’s possible that the ethics professor did misconstrue a threat because of this student’s reputation. We will ask other students who were present for their statements to see if we can get to the bottom of this matter. There is a particular student, a Mr. Spears, who quite trustworthy and was present at the time of the incident. I will personally ask him what he heard and saw, but that is not the only issue.”

Leaning back, his two-toned eyes glared at Eric – pinning him as if he was a wriggling insect set for inspection. “You have spoken to Sutcliff on two occasions now. Although it is still early, do you think he should be able to get his temper in hand and become a respectable reaper?”

Eric nodded slowly. “I think it’s helping him to talk,” he answered, “It’s helping both of us. For me, it’s like being able to stand outside my own anger and really looking at it. And I think it’s the same for him. He knows he’s angry, and I don’t think he likes feeling like that.”

“Very good,” came a reply that was devoid of all the emotion one might expect from such a statement, “You may continue talking to him then. His final exam will be the true test whether or not his explosive personality had been subdued. Also, I will investigate the matter that occurred in ethics. You may leave, Slingby.”

Quietly he thanked the man as he struggled to leave the room slowly and calmly. Once the door had been shut and he was in the hall, however, he ran as fast as he could to the student housing and immediately ran to Grell’s room. It wasn’t time for their usual meeting, but he had to talk to Grell as soon as possible. He was smiling by the time he reached the closed door and knocked excitedly.

After a moment, he heard shuffling from inside the room and the door was slowly opened to reveal a disheveled redhead. From the look of his wrinkled nightshirt to the half-closed eyes, he had apparently been asleep when Eric had knocked, and he didn’t appear to be thrilled to have been awaken suddenly. However, he gave a sleepy half smile when he saw that the identity of his early morning visitor.

“Eric? Did I oversleep or something?” He ran a hand through his already tousled hair.

“No,” replied Eric, “and I’m sorry I woke you, but I just had some good news that I had to tell you.”

“Oh, well come in then,” Grell said, stepping aside so that Eric could enter, “Must be some great news. I’ve never seen you smile so big.” He yawned loudly as Eric accepted the invitation.

Grell’s room couldn’t have been anymore different than the office Eric had only recently left. It was still neat, except for a desk where a collection of doodles and pages filled with tiny, neat handwriting, but there was so much personality here. The crumpled red bedspread was almost as vibrant as Grell himself, but a painting on the wall of lone figure standing on a cliff overlooking a stormy ocean was soft and melancholy. The contradictions of the two extremes fit Grell perfectly. “Nice painting,” Eric said with a gesture.

“Thanks,” replied Grell, “I painted that last year.”

“You painted it? Wow! I’m impressed. I can’t draw a straight line.”

Grell laughed lightly, and Eric noticed there was something slightly different about him than when he had seen him in the past. Across the bridge of his nose was a pale dusting of freckles and there was a red tint, only slightly darker than his hair, to his previously black eyelashes. Eric suddenly understood that Grell wore makeup most of the time, although he saw absolutely no purpose for it. The redhead actually looked more attractive to him now that he was completely natural, and that’s when Eric realized one very important, indisputable fact.

He was falling for this unpredictable academy student.

Feeling suddenly self-conscious, Eric shifted his feet slightly and moved towards the door. “I guess I should be going,” he said.

“Why are you in such a hurry?” asked Grell, “I don’t have any classes until late this evening. That’s why I was sleeping in, but we could count this as one of our talks for the week.”

“Well, I didn’t want to disturb if you needed to rest,” Eric said quickly, hoping that Grell would believe the lie.

Grell smiled mischievously as he stepped closer. “Are you afraid of what I’m going to do you behind closed doors, Mr. Slingby?” he asked, “Did my hint that I like tall men frighten you?”

“It’s not that,” Eric insisted, “It’s just that, uh, I need…” His voice trailed off as he desperately searched for a suitable answer.

With a laugh, Grell turned away and plopped down rather gracelessly on his bed, the nightshirt riding up far higher on his thighs than Eric felt comfortable with seeing as he couldn’t help but wonder if he was wearing anything else. “I’m just teasing, Eric,” he said, “I like to keep people guessing and make them feel uncomfortable – and flirting will do that just as quickly as fighting. It keeps people on their toes. It keeps them…from hurting you.” The last part was almost whispered, and Grell looked away after the words had slipped, seemingly unwillingly, from his mouth. He looked down at the floor, his lips trembling slightly, and Eric walked over to sit in a wooden seat nearby.

“Grell,” he began, “Who hurt you?”

“No one in particular,” Grell answered, as he threw his head back and smiled, “but I do know what everyone thinks of me. Oh, I could behave and act like everyone else. I’ve tried that, but it only makes me angrier. When I’m simply myself, they call me a freak and treat me like an outsider. Does the headmaster really want to know why I’m angry?”

Eric nodded as he watched the emotions flicker across the redhead’s face. He realized he was seeing the masks fall and getting his first glimpse of the true Grell underneath it all.

“It’s easier to be angry,” continued Grell, “Everyone stays away from me, so they can’t hurt me. I isolate myself before they can. It’s my choice and not theirs! I’m angry because I can’t be myself. I’m angry because I’m alone and I’ll always be alone!”

“Grell, do you want to be with someone?”

“No,” he quickly answered, “Because no one here is worth my time. They’re all weak and pathetic. I want a man that’s at least strong as I am – hopefully stronger.” Grell sighed as he looked directly at Eric. “So, do you have anyone in your life?”

“I don’t,” admitted Eric, “Too many people just want to play games. I don’t mind the occasional fling as long as I know that’s all it is. I mean, I enjoy sex as much as the next guy. Maybe even more than some. It’s a great release, but I don’t want to be led to believe it’s a relationship when it’s not. Just be honest.” He stood up, not wanting to meet Grell’s gaze directly. “I really do have to go. I don’t have any field assignments, but I do have tasks I have to do.”

“Okay,” Grell said, standing up to follow Eric to the door.

Once in the hall, Eric turned around and did his best to give a casual smile. “If I can get your punishment lifted, how about we go grab a bite to eat. I know a great place in the mortal realm. What do you think?”

“Would this be a date?” Grell asked, leaning against the doorframe.

“Nah,” Eric countered, “Just two friends eating together. Does it sound like a good idea?”

Grell seemed to consider it for a moment. “I really haven’t got to see much of the mortal realm yet, so why not? Sounds like fun.”

“Good,” replied Eric, “I’ll see you later this week – if not sooner to go out to eat.”

“Okay, goodbye Eric.”

Grell shut the door and Eric heard him reengage the lock to presumably finish his nap. As he stood in the hallway, however, he couldn’t think of how he had lied to Grell. He did want to take Grell out on a date, and Grell’s comment about preferring tall men had scared him because it forced him to face his own growing feelings.

For the first time since being reborn as a reaper, Eric Slingby was falling in love.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter is rather short. I'm in the process of moving, so I'm trying to get all my stories updated while I can.

Chapter 4:

Anticipation twisted in Eric’s gut as he walked towards the Student Relations’ office; the sound of his shoes striking the floor echoing in his ears as his heart thudded in his chest. He had been in the middle of one of his menial office tasks when he had received word to report here as soon as possible, and he knew it was about Grell. Unfortunately, he had been forced to finish his previously assigned job first. Now he was walking as fast as he could without actually running towards the cold office he had dreaded so much during his own time in the academy, hoping that what he was about to receive was good news. Just as he reached his destination, and was reaching for the brass doorknob, the door suddenly swung open.

A younger man, no doubt a soon to be reaper, stepped out first. There was little expression on well-shaped face as his eyes took in the sight of the rather flustered Eric calmly and without any outward emotion. He only reaction was to adjust his glasses slightly as he stepped into the hall as the head of student relations followed closely behind. To Eric’s shock, the normally cold man looked as if he was smiling slightly, but his expression soon melted to one of annoyance when he saw Eric.

“I expected you here sooner, Slingby,” he grumbled.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Moore, sir,” apologized Eric, clenching his teeth so as not to allow himself to express his true feelings, “I came as soon as I could.”

Moore shook his head. “I investigated the matter of Sutcliff supposedly threatening his professor, and I interviewed several students – such as Mr. Spears here. He’s an example of what a good academy student should be.” He gestured to the student Eric had nearly bumped into who was simply standing aside quietly as if he hadn’t noticed the praise or it was all too common for him to even respond. “While Sutcliff spoke disrespectfully, it seems that he hadn’t intended to make a threat. His suspension and confinement to his room will be lifted.”

“So, Grell can leave his room?” Eric asked, forgetting to refer to him as Mr. Sutcliff in his eagerness.

Moore raised his eyebrow but nodded slightly. “Yes, he can leave. There are only a few classes until he starts his final exam. If he passes that exam and doesn’t allow his anger to get in the way, both of you will be able to work as field agents. Now, if you’ll excuse me.” Without another word, he stepped past Eric and walked down the hall with a steady yet unhurried pace.

Eric gave the academy student still standing there his friendliest smile. “I suppose I should thank you,” he began, “Uh, what was your name again?”

“William T. Spears,” he responded, “And your thanks, while appreciated, is not required. I only answered the question honestly as was instructed.”

“Well…thanks anyway,” Eric managed, unsure how to respond, “I guess I’ll see you around, William.” He threw up his hand before turning and making his own way down the hall, a part of him eager to get away from the rather intense student.

The path to Grell’s room was almost second nature at this point to Eric. A large grin plastered on his face, Eric wasted no time knocking on the redhead’s door. He could barely wait to give him the good news.

Grell opened the door, and this time it was evident he had went to class earlier that day for he was dressed and the barely noticeable makeup was in place. “Eric,” he said, “I wasn’t expecting you until later.”

“Well, I wanted to hurry over just in case you were hungry. Are you ready to go out and eat?”

“Go out?” Grell repeated confused, but then his eyes widened as his sharp-toothed smile grace his face. “Does this mean my suspension’s lifted?”

Eric nodded. “Mr. Moore talked to some students who said you hadn’t threatened the professor. He had just finished talking to a William something when I got there actually.”

“William T. Spears, I bet,” Grell said, wrinkling his nose slightly, “He’s just Mr. B Student, but all the professors seem to love them. He’s such a sycophant, not to mention weak and useless. I can’t stand him.”

“Well, it looks like he was the one who really got you out of trouble this time,” Eric replied, “but let’s not worry about him now. Are you ready to go? I know I’m starving.”

Grell grabbed his jacket and smiled widely as he began to button it. “So, is this a date, Mr. Slingby?”

“No,” Eric replied, slightly distracted by Grell’s smile, “Just two friends grabbing a bite to eat. Uh, maybe you shouldn’t smile like that in the human realm. We don’t want to be noticed too much and your teeth are a little noticeable. We have to do our best to blend in.”

“Or I could do this,” offered Grell as he covered his mouth with his hand. At first, Eric thought he was being sarcastic, but then Grell removed his hand revealing perfectly normal, straight teeth.

“How did you do that?” asked Eric.

“Old reaper trick,” Grell answered, “There books about it in the library, but they don’t teach it anymore since they focus on cloaking. It’s really easy once you get the hang of it though. Watch this.” He ran his hands through his hair and Eric watched as the red melted away only be replaced by unruly blonde locks.

“That’s amazing, but you don’t have to change your hair if you don’t want to.”

Grell laughed lightly, but Eric noticed there was something other than happiness in the normally joyful sound. “Doesn’t my red hair make me stand out too?” he asked, running his slender fingers through the now blonde strands.

“A little,” Eric lied. The truth was it made him stand out a lot, but Eric particularly liked his hair. It was as fiery and unruly as Grell himself. “But I’m just not used to seeing you as a blonde.”

Grell shook his head and the red bleed back into the fair strands until his hair was its usual color. “Red’s better anyway,” he agreed, “Let’s get out of here. Come to think of it, I am hungry.”

Nodding, Eric created the portal to take them to the human realm, something which Grell would be permitted to once he passed his final exam, and led the way to the restaurant. Grell was in a rather talkative and generally happier mood than Eric had seen in the past, but he found that he was enjoyable company. There meal was punctuated with nearly continual conversation and occasional laughter. A few people had turned to look at them, but Eric noticed that their eyes’ all seemed to drawn towards Grell as if he radiated some sort of natural light that drew people towards him. Oddly enough, Grell actually seemed somewhat oblivious to all of the attention, which seemed strange to Eric. Up to this point he had thought Grell liked having all the attention, but now it appeared that the redhead didn’t even seemed to be aware when other people were noticing him. Eric was musing over this when he realized that Grell had said something that he hadn’t heard.

“Hmm? What did you say?”

Grell smiled. “I said that I’m dreading tomorrow. Even though I still have a few classes until the final, we find out who are partners are tomorrow and we’ll be moving over to the dorms we have to stay in during the final.” Grell paused, looking down at his plate for several minutes before finally returning his gaze to Eric’s face. “As you already know, I don’t work well with others. Now, I’m going to have a roommate and someone in my face constantly for the next month.” Grell sighed rather dramatically.

“It won’t be that bad,” Eric assured, “besides, if you pass your final, we’ll both get to field agents.”

“We might even get to work together,” Grell added with a smile, “Maybe you’re right. Maybe it won’t be that bad. At any rate, if I just get through this, I’ll graduate and never have to worry about the academy again.”

“Thank goodness for that!” Eric enthusiastically agreed.

With the weightier matters out of the way, they finished their meal in high spirits and it was rather late by the time they had returned to their realm and Eric had walked Grell to his door.

“Thanks for the dinner, Eric,” Grell said, after he unlocked his door, “This been the best evening I’ve had in a long time.”

“Me too.”

Grell paused again. “It’s nice to have a friend like you,” he finally said in a slightly subdued tone, “In fact, I’m going to miss you next month, but we’re supposed to limit our contact with anyone other than our partner. It’s funny I guess. I just got my suspension lifted so I can go stay in another small dorm room with a partner not of my choosing.” He laughed a little bitterly.

“It will be over before you know it,” Eric said, “I know you have to leave early to learn about your partner in the morning, and I may not see you during these last few days before your final, so good luck. I’m sure you’ll do great.”

“Thanks,” Grell said. He opened his door and lingered for just a moment. It looked as if he had something else to say, but he only looked at Eric without so much as a single word.

“I’ll see you around,” Eric said, throwing up his hand before turning and walking down the hall. He heard the door shut softy behind him, and he began to slow his steps until he was simply standing still and alone. This wasn’t how he wanted to leave things.

Spinning around, he rushed back to the closed door and knocked until it was opened.

“Eric, what are y-mmphh,” Grell began, but his words were smothered by Eric’s lips upon his own.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5:**

 

Eric had been partially afraid that Grell might push away or even hit him, but it seemed that the redhead had been too surprised to do either. He simply stood there, allowing Eric’s lips to press into his own, but he made no effort to return the kiss. Eric couldn’t deny that he was more than a little disappointed as the daydream that had been repeatedly dancing through his mind the past few days had been far more classically romantic. Trying not to allow the pain to show on his face, he stepped back and simply looked down at him.

Grell’s eyes were wide as he seemed to search Eric’s face, but his expression was unreadable has he brought one hand up to gently touch his bottom lip. “What are you doing?” he asked, “Seriously, what was that for, Eric? You said we were just friends. Over and over, you claimed you were just my friend and now you kiss me?”

Eric’s mind was screaming for him to simply be honest and admit he had been falling for Grell since the moment they had met, but the words simply couldn’t to seem to escape his mouth. He moved closer and took placed his hands on Grell’s shoulders. “We are friends,” he replied, “In fact, you might be my only friend. I’m going to miss you while you’re taking your final.”

“So that was just your way of saying goodbye?” Grell questioned, tilting his head slightly.

“In a way, I suppose,” Eric said, managing a slight smile, “but I guess there’s more to it than that.” He struggled with his words, and felt almost pinned by the unwavering gaze of Grell, who was obviously waiting for an answer. “Do you remember what I said before about relationships? I don’t care if it’s just about sex as long as I know it from the beginning, because sometimes that’s what you need in that moment. It’s just a release. Remember?”

“Yeah,” Grell said quietly, “So is that all that was? Just a release?”

“I just wanted to be honest with you,” Eric explained as his mind denounced him to be a liar. “Of course, it’s fine if you don’t want me to leave. I guess this is kind of awkward.”

Grell didn’t answer verbally as he simply reached around Eric to lock the door. He looked up at him and gave a mischievous smile, but those eyebrows were as uncertain as ever. Because of their height difference, Grell had to stand on the very tips of his toes to reach Eric, but soon their lips met once more. Eric wasn’t particularly surprised by the passion in the kiss, but something else he sensed did catch him rather off guard. For all his passion and usual cockiness, Grell was decidedly inexperienced. Perhaps his reputation and temper had scared away most potential partners, but this only added to Eric’s guilt. Not only was he lying to Grell, there was a chance that he was taking advantage of someone who didn’t have the same experience as he did.

As they moved back towards the small bed, Eric could have stopped. He couldn’t have stepped away, said no, or at least ended the kiss, but he did none of those things. Even with his own conscience roaring his mind, he kept moving forward as he tried to tell himself it was all oaky because he did care for Grell. He would simply tell him how he felt later.

((x))

Morning came all too early for Eric, and he cursed the false sunlight of their realm as it crept through the single window. He knew that he had to be getting on to the office, and soon Grell would have to report to be assigned his partner and target for his final exam. Carefully, Eric got out of bed, gathered his glasses from the nearby table, and began to retrieve his clothes which had been tossed aside the night before.

“Eric? Are you leaving already?” a rather drowsy voice asked.

Turning, Eric saw that Grell was sitting up in bed as he regarded him with sleepy, near-sighted eyes. His glasses were still on the table, so Eric knew that Grell could only see a blurry image of him. Eric was thankful for this because he didn’t want Grell reading his expression right now because it would make lying about his feelings all the more difficult. “I’ve got to,” Eric said, “I have to be at the office in 15 minutes, and you really need to be getting ready too. Today’s the big day.”

Grell fell back with a huff, and Eric had to look away when he saw how much of him was exposed by the twisted sheet. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t seen all of Grell, but someone in the bright light of the morning, it only made Eric’s conscience more vocal. “Yeah, big day,” Grell mumbled without any enthusiasm, “I have to work with some loser and live over in the other dorms for the next month. Yay.”

“Look on the bright side,” Eric instructed, “when you pass, you get to work in collections, and we’ll both be field agents.”

“We might even be able to work together,” Grell added, smiling slightly.

“Just please try to keep your temper in check,” Eric added.

Grell laughed as he reached for his glasses. “How did you ever keep your’s under control long enough to pass the final?”

“I didn’t really keep it under control,” admitted Eric, “but my partner was too scared of me to say anything afterwards.”

“Maybe the same thing we’ll happen for me,” Grell said with another laugh.

“Maybe, but do your best for both our sakes,” Eric returned as he finished buttoning his shirt and grabbed his jacket, “I have to go, but I’ll see you as soon as the final’s over. I’ll meet you outside of spectacles.”

“Bye Eric.”

“Bye, and good luck.”

With those simple words, Eric left, but his heart was heavy as he walked down the hall. He paused and looked back at Grell’s closed door for a few minutes, but he told himself no good would come of telling the truth of his feelings now. Grell’s mind had to be clear for the final so that he could pass. While he was most certainly talented, the final was not easy and many a talented student had failed only to wind up being assigned to some boring, repetitious task for all eternity. “Please, Grell,” he whispered, “you have to pass.”

Feeling a bit foolish standing alone and talking to himself in an empty hall, he finally turned and hurried to the office. He didn’t need to be late, but he couldn’t silence that little worry this might be the last time he ever saw Grell.

((x))

The next month passed by painfully slow, and there were times that Eric thought he would lose his mind. He kept an eye on the boards for any updates because some students completed the final in less time then was given – and it would be the first place any failures would be posted. Eric had seen both, but Grell’s name had yet to be listed. This gave Eric hope that Grell had taken his advice and was putting forth his best effort to pass. The waiting had also given him more than enough time to think about the whole situation and he had come to a very important decision. He was going to be perfectly honest with Grell. He wasn’t going to hide his feelings behind ridiculous talks of release and friendship. He was going to admit everything and hope that Grell would understand.

Finally, while he was cleaning out wastebaskets in the office, he heard that there had been a couple more academy students who had passed the final who were down in spectacles getting their new glasses. Eric didn’t want to get his hopes up, but when he heard that one of the students was a ‘crazy redhead,’ his heart jumped into his chest. Ignoring the surprised cries of his colleagues, he dropped the wastebasket back into place and ran out of dispatch. Along the way, he saw a small pot of flowers on someone’s desk, and carefully picked a single blossom. It was corny and probably over sentimental for Grell, but Eric simply couldn’t resist. His face broke into a silly grin as he ran, and he didn’t so much as pause until he made it to the hall outside of spectacles.

He didn’t have to wait long before Grell emerged, and he mirrored Eric’s smile upon seeing him. “Eric!” he cried, running forward to throw his arms around the taller reaper. “I passed! Now, we both can be field agents!”

“I know,” Eric responded, but something seemed off. Grell seemed different somehow, although he wasn’t sure exactly what had changed.

“And check out my new glasses,” Grell added stepping back and showing off Pop’s handiwork. The frames were as red as Grell’s hair and the chain with tiny skulls were certainly original. “Don’t I just look ravishing in these?”

“Those glasses certainly are you,” Eric answered, his uneasiness growing, but he shoved it aside because he knew that the time had come to tell him how he felt. “Grell, I need to -” 

“And the most amazing thing happened,” Grell interrupted, “Oh, Eric, I’m in love! I’ve met the perfect man!”

“What?” managed Eric.

As if on cue, another reaper emerged from spectacles, and Eric recognized him as the student he had met before when trying to get Grell’s suspension lifted. “There he is now,” Grell said. He waved toward the man. “I was just telling Eric all about us, Will darling,” he called.

“There is no us and I’m not your darling,” William stated, walking past both of them and down the hall.

“Isn’t he just the perfect ice prince?” Grell asked with a sigh.

“I didn’t think you even liked William what’s-his-name,” Eric said.

“I misjudged sweet William,” Grell announced in a dreamy tone, “I never knew what a forceful man he was until it was almost time to reap our target’s soul, but then he showed me. It was so beautiful, and I’ll know I’ll never forget. My body’s still aching from our encounter.” He sighed again, but then he blinked a few times as if waking from a dream. “I finally get to move out of the dorms and into my first apartment,” Grell said, “Do you want to come and see my new place?”

“Maybe later,” Eric lied, “I have to hurry back to the office. I just wanted to say hi.” With a forced smile, he turned and hurried away. He could hear Grell saying something as he left, but he couldn’t focus enough to understand any of the words. His heart was thudding too loudly in his chest for him to hear anything as he walked, but he didn’t return to the office. Instead, he walked outside.

It was a beautiful day just like all the others, but for the first time Eric could see the ugliness bleeding through at the seams. This world was ugly. This life was ugly. He was shaking a bit, but no tears came, and he couldn’t help but feel anger. While he had never admitted his feelings, Grell still had no reason to flaunt his new love in his face like that. It just seemed too cruel, but he knew now that could never confess how he had felt. He knew it would be a secret forever locked away in his heart, as all his warm feelings suddenly turned cold and his affection morphed into disdain.

It was then he realized that he had been crushing the single flower that he still held in his hand. Opening his fingers, he saw that the petals were the same brilliant shade as Grell’s hair, but before he could ponder this further, a fake breeze drifted through and the pieces of the flower took flight. Eric watched as they danced and twirled on the air as the wind carried them farther and farther away.

Forever out of his reach.

**Author's Note:**

> I know I have quite a few incomplete stories, but I am going to do my best to finish each and every one. When a new idea hits me, I have to write it down so that it's not forgotten.


End file.
